J. Kill & The Mothergrinders - It Takes About Fifteen Minutes To Fly

HOW IT BEGINS

So this is how it begins
My friends slowly turning abusers
Dopefiends and car thieves
Facing some jails and some hard times
And now it seems, they're leaving me
For the green, for the dope
I'm so alone, I don't even smoke
I cauterize myself and breathe

I fear I'm losing you
I feel like I'm losing all of you

As soon as you hit 21
You'll probably lose someone
Temptation grows within their souls
And then unfolds
Strange how some of us give up
Some hold on to this one thought
I need to keep my mind pure
But for what?

And now I'm drifting away..

WEAKNESS IN ME

No pills to kill this ill
No drug to smother this pain
No flame to burn my fear
I have to suffer this phase

And now I see
This weakness in me
Dead eyes, obscene
Burning like purple haze

I have no voice to sing
I need to mutter this through
No sense of self-exploitation
I learned through observing you

And now I see
This weakness in me
Dead eyes, obscene
Dying like from drug-crazed dream

I am so fucking strong
I do not need anyone
No witchdoctor can tell me
Who I really am

And now I see
you're all mean to me
Turning against me
I hate this feeling

Bleeding through,
My blood red lies
Cause more pain
When I am alive

I'm made of dirt and gravel
I'm made of guilt and lies
I'm cut out from this world
I'm running out of time

And now I see
You're torturing me
My hope's gone bleak
I don't want to be.

SCAPEGOAT

Go ahead
Make me your scapegoat again
Just like the Mansons and the Christ
And all those nameless before them
Crusify me
Make me suffer from all of your sins
I'm too worn out to care
I dedicate this one to myself

And in their hands I lose it all
The sense of time and free will
Let me just stay here forever
Here in this absurd joy

Choke me with bare hands
I am too poor to hold my own side
You can tell them how I struggled for my last breath
Nail me.
Make me pay for all your burdens
Like anal beads in a virgin ass
The truth might hurt too much

And in their hands...

And when it's time for me to go
All hell will march me home
And I'll laugh as I go
It'll be the end of you all

and in their hands I lose it all
The sense of time and free will
Let me just die here and now
Here in this unmarked hole.


IT TAKES ABOUT FORTYFIVE MINUTES TO DIE

I lie on the road
My bones are getting cold
And I'm surprised I've made it this far
I see the headlights of the moving car
And now I'm sure it takes about fortyfive minutes to die

I've been here since the nightfall
Waiting for the stars to come out and shine
And it doesn't matter how I try to face this
it took me about fortyfive minutes to die

My last moment is drawing near
The minute of my department is here
Fortyfive minutes I waited for this
And now I'm glad.. that it only takes..
Fortyfive minutes to die.